I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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