who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
