Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
