My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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