Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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