but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Is it because I queefed?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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