idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
