So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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