If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
