i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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