i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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