What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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