Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
false alarm. still invincible.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
