why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
