Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
