so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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