did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
