Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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