this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
