I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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