So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
