I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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