we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
