This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
