i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
