can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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