If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
