So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
