I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
