i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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