I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
