Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm jealous of your bromance
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
