talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
