Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
