I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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