He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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