So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
