So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
