fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
