i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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