your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
