Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
