your room smells of hookers.
And success
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You dont lie about slip and slides
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
