I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
