she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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