i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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