Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
