I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
