FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
