Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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