But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
