her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
