this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Four minutes until I can fart!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Randomize
