he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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